His Eyes

I've caught the beautiful revelation that I can live my life before the eyes of God. Meaning that no one can rightly judge me, not even myself! Only Jesus Christ knows the intentions and motivations of my heart correctly and He alone is able to judge me. This new revelation has brought MAJOR freedom in my life; no more fear of man or fear of being misunderstood by others. God knows me; He knows my heart and He is the only one that matters. When I stand before God on judgement day I will be standing alone... no one else will answer to Him for my life except me. 

It's truly a wonderful feeling to know that I can't even judge myself. My whole life I've been very critical, judgmental, and condemning on myself. Always trying to measure up to very high standards in all spectrums of life. When I would fail I had major self beating up times... which is ridiculous... I'm a human being and I WILL fail. The cool thing is God still loves me and sees the weak love that I have for Him. He does not condemn me because I am immature. PRAISE GOD!!

The ONLY one who can rightly judge me is judging me through the eyes of MERCY!! 

His mercies are NEW every morning!!!!! 

More Humility

It’s interesting how the Lord is so good to us to allow our flesh to manifest and show itself true. Often I find myself in the midst of this constant back and forth between times of humility and pride. More than ever have I conscientiously noticed periods where everything is good and not even meaning to I start to subtly move in pride and then, BOOM!! A whole lot of humility comes my way to keep me in check, haha! It’s actually pretty funny when I step back and see how silly I am to think much of anything about myself apart from Christ. He is truly my all and all… the more I say yes and give up my life to Him the more I find I cannot defend myself in pride, but WAIT for Him to defend me. So so hard to do, BUT so so worth it in the end!!

I was reading Andrew Murray’s book “Humility,” and came across that our thoughts, words, and feeling concerning others are God’s test of our humility toward Him. Our humility before the Lord is the only power that can allow us to be always humble with others. The first commandment and the second commandment always seem to cross and interconnect. Jesus counted Himself as a servant to others, meek and lowly and He is the Son of God. There IS hope!! Since Jesus lives in me and is able to impart His amazing character in me as I surrender to Him I can be transformed!!

I need to run to Jesus and hide myself in Him and His humility. More of Jesus Christ and less of me and my pride (fallen human strength). I know it will take a life time of refining and perfected to be conformed to Jesus so I've been trying to actually enjoy each moment of trials, temptation, and tribulation. I know it sounds odd, but hey, if they cycle of constant refining is going to continue me whole life I might as well find a way to make the most of it, right?

It's cool to see how God loves us so much He won't let stay the same; He's jealous for us to go deeper into being made whole and stronger. We gain maturity. Praise God!

If you're going through a rough time, praise the Lord for this opportunity to gain growth in that area... victory!! Jesus has a way out ... He'll never let us be tested beyond what we can handle... run to Him... He's got strength for you to partake of. 

In our weakness HE is strong!  

Falling Love

Helplessly falling in love with You

Your kindness melts away all the pain
Deeply growing in a love that's true
Your forgiveness takes away all the shame

Though my weaknesses remains
You love me the same
You love me the same

Seeing my deep darkest stains
You love me the same
You love me the same

Swept away by this vast love
Drawn to Your intoxicating perfume
Oh give me eyes like a dove
Breathtaking, I am lost, in ruin

Though my weaknesses remains
You love me the same
You love me the same

Seeing my deep darkest stains
You love me the same
You love me the same

Jesus, You have stolen my heart away
My eyes long to gaze upon Your beauty
Would You kiss me with Your Word today?
You are glorious, radiant, and altogether lovely

I am taking a Song of Solomon class right now and God is unlocking my heart... it's so freeing to see myself through the merciful eyes of Jesus!

Obedience

(Jesus Culture Kim Walker leads John Mark McMillian's, "He Loves Us")

Today I started my Song of Solomon class, it is so awesome!!

One thing that really that stuck out to me was the section that spoke about obedience. There are types of obedience:

1) Affection-based obedience: Obedience that flows from experiencing Jesus' affection for us and giving it back to Him.

2) Duty- based obedience: Obedience that doesn't feel God's presence; the Word tells us that we will have to do this (not always obey out of emotions: "I will bless the Lord at all times..."). 

3) Fear- based obedience: "Shame based" obedience for fear of being put to shame or suffering negative consequences. This is biblical, but is not enough to sustain us through times of hardship and continually tell sin no. 

I realized that the majority of my life I have functioned in obedience primarily in the last two. I know I have done things out of love for the Lord... but not based on experiencing Jesus' affections. I'm still learning more and more about this each day. It blows my mind how little I realize the Lord loves me and even when I hear about it, it doesn't always sink into my heart. 

God has me in a good places of receiving His affections... I almost don't know how to receive them. I know He will show me one step at a time. He has brought me to a place where I have to lean on Him and His affections for everything. I'm not satisfied by what the world has... Jesus I need to know true love!

The above video is of a song that has really blessed my heart lately. I keep listening to it over and over... check it out and tell me what you think...

People...

God is awesome! He knows exactly what He's doing. It's so nice to know that in the midst of life's storms God has totally got your back. My time back in Chi-town has been really cool, challenging at times, but GOOD! It's been great to see everyone and visit. God has sovereignly been guiding this whole trip in the people that I've had a chance to see. Through this trip I've really come to value relationships back home AND at KC. I just love people, haha! Each person has impacted me in different ways and I'm grateful for each individual God has placed in my life. I'm not alone!!

Praise the Lord for the body that stands together and builds each other up!!

We've GOT to pray

"Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who
are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously,
and plead the cause of the poor and needy."

-Proverbs 31:8-9

Lou Engle spoke to our class last night. He spoke about the shedding of innocent blood. I was shocked to find that in NY there are incinerators where the abortion clinics burn the bodies of the aborted babies. We've got a silent holocaust in our own backyard!!! With each scripture passage that was read my heart sank in grief. I had always known that abortion was wrong, but Lou's message opened my heart to a whole other level. He spoke of Genesis 9, when God was instructing Noah after the great flood. One of the first things God told Noah was that a lifeblood demanded an account:

5And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each man, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man.

6 "Whoever sheds the blood of man,
by man shall his blood be shed;
for in the image of God
has God made man.

Blood defiles the land: Numbers 35:33

" 'Do not pollute the land where you are. Bloodshed pollutes the land, and atonement cannot be made for the land on which blood has been shed, except by the blood of the one who shed it.

Bloodshed if not reckoned bring more bloodshed: Ez. 35:6

 "therefore as surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I will give you over to bloodshed and it will pursue you. Since you did not hate bloodshed, bloodshed will pursue you."

Even us who did not take part in abortion are responsible to stand up because our eyes have seen it: Jeremiah 2

4 On your clothes men find
the lifeblood of the innocent poor,
though you did not catch them breaking in.
Yet in spite of all this

35 you say, 'I am innocent;
he is not angry with me.'
But I will pass judgment on you
because you say, 'I have not sinned.'

2 Samuel 21- During king David's reign there was a 3 year draught and so David sought the Lord and the Lord said that it was a it was on account of Saul's innocent bloodshed on the Gibeonites. The Lord sometimes does not judge right away, but lets the judgement set for awhile in hopes of repentance. 

There is a day of reckoning coming to America. The Civil War was a day of reckoning for America. The courts could not turn around slavery and so war broke out to avenge the innocent blood of the slaves. According to Lou we are in a Esther preparation season of 12 months before the judgments will come. If we do not have abortion turned around in the courts it will not be a pretty sight for America.

Church it's time to get on our knees in fasting and prayer!!! We must not be silent! God is not going to allow the killing of His dreams for the sake of convenience anymore!! 

"Evil is allowed to prevail when good men do nothing..."  

2 Chron. 7:14
"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

We are in need of God's mercy, for Him to heal our land. Jesus' blood was enough to pay the price, but we MUST cry out! 

All you Chi-town people there is going to be a seige in Chicago on Oct 13th. Check this website out if you would like to attend:

http://www.bound4lifechicago.com/

The Dawn of Awakening Love

Wow, I started writing this out of now where... I have not written in awhile so it's pretty rough, BUT it's real. I chose the title as the "dawn of awakening love" because I truly believe that I am just barely scratching the surface of the realization of the depth of God's love for me. Praise the Lord though the surface has indeed been scratched and we are on a journey to go DEEPER!  

Hope this blesses you! 

The Dawn of Awakening Love

The Heavens declare the wonders of Your words

The mountains, waters, forests, and sunshine
But only one thing did you form with Your hands
With Your breath made alive, mankind

Made in Your very own image, I am
The creation made closest to Your heart
Fashioned for intimacy, I am
From You I was never meant to be apart

Draw me away with You, so close I want to be
Resting in Your love, my spirit is so free
Lord You have captured my gaze
Turning my cold heart ablaze

Lord I long to BE with You
Jesus, a name so sweet
There is nothing I’d rather do
To lay at Your feet

Oh my Love, my Love, come away with me
Together we will run
Oh my Love, my Love, come and dance with me
You and I as One
You and I as One

Setting My Heart on a Pilgrimage

This past week and a half has been full of difficulties, both internal and external. I think I've eaten more today than the course of being here, haha! I've been reminding myself that God still loves me in the midst of my uckyness. I don't fully understand everything, but I know God is good and He WILL get me through this. He who began a good work in me is FAITHFUL!  

Daniel Lim reminded me of a verse that God showed me before I came to IHOP:

Psalm 84: 5-7

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, (place of weeping)
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools. [b]

7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.

God is stripping me of all of me and making my strength be in Him. OUCH my flesh does NOT like it, BUT I know God has GOOD plans to prosper me, there is hope. 

Free...

Jesus is Lord over ALL the earth, everything in the earth, and of the earth!! He is Lord over Hollywood, MTV, Lake Michigan, DeVry Inc., highway 88, every person on this earth He is Lord over, not one person has life or breath with out His permission. Every business, industry, university, government, science, color, fashion, music, book, drink, food, instrument, artist, element, equation… EVRYTHING is the Lords. ALL, as in “total extent or total entity; being a whole number; amount; or quantity; every.
Everything – “ All things; whatever exists

I asked God how do I allow Jesus Christ to be worked in me? How do I give myself over to the likeness of Jesus Christ?

He said:

1) Say yes; to Jesus being Lord of my life. John 14: 6 and 7

6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know[b] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."

(Having Jesus come into my life to dwell in me; salvation

2) Surrender; give ALL to Him. Matthew 6:33

“33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

(Jesus is Lord of all, my life is no longer my own; salvation and transformation)

3) Obey; listen to what the Father is saying see what the Father is doing.

Obeying God is loving God; John 14:23 and 24


23Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. 24He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

(Embracing what Jesus did, which is complete obedience to the Father; transformation).

4) Receive; take and get the supernatural strength, power, grace, love, authority, will, and strong desire; get filled up with Christ. Salvation itself is a gift; a gift is received not earned. Apart from Christ we can’t do a thing.


Zechariah 4:6

'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.

1 Thessalonians 5:9

9For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.

(All power and authority was from God the Father not of Jesus’ own strength)

5) Do as we please; as long as we are in submission to the Lord our will is going to match the will of the Father and indeed will be in the boundaries of God’s will. We are functioning/ BEING His child. SOOO…everything we DO in our BEING we do as unto the Lord and are FREE to DO whatever.

Galatians 5:1

1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Romans 8 is a great example of all these concepts


The Lord gave us gifts for a purpose; He likes it when we enjoy the things he gave us. What father would not want his child to enjoy a present he gave his child; gifts are given to be cherished and ENJOYED!

Our preference of style, food, drink, music, books, sports, color, animal, climate etc… all is a unique illustration and expression of Father God inside of us.

He created all things and is Lord of all things. We don’t have to be afraid of the world, God made it. There is also a wisdom and consideration for others that must be taken into account. The boundaries come when we start to use the goodness of God in sinful ways or ways that would cause our brothers and sisters to fall. The good news is though, WE ARE FREE!!!

Allen Hood quoted Sir Francis in class, “Love God and do as you please.”

Yes there will be struggles, there will be pains; we are to embrace the cross of Christ. God is a jealous God and wants us to be transformed from glory to glory into the likeness of His Son. Our prideful fallen nature NEEDS a good cleansing and humbling. However, through life’s journey of being transformed into the image of Christ we can ENJOY the ride!! We can LOVE on God and find beauty among the thorns.

This truly is good news!!! J

God Loves Humans

Wow!! I'm learning so much in my Excellencies of Christ class!! I never realized how little I really knew the DEPTH of who Jesus was and what He did. Each day I feel transformed into more of who I really am (as I am finding who He truly is). It's awesome!!! This week we've talked about Jesus as the Mediator, His zeal, and the aroma of His meekness; so good! Jesus is had such a tender understanding of the human frame... He really does understand our difficulties and sympathizes with us, for real (Hebrews 4:14-16)! He's a REAL person NOW; He's alive and we have FULL access to talk with Him!!! Whenever, about whatever!! He is more jealous for us to have a fullness in our lives than we are and what He started He is able to finish, He WANTS to! I love what Allen Hood says:

 "What is it about the human frame that pleased Him so much that the One who made ALL things chose to become human FOREVER? Jesus is not only your divine King and Creator. Now He is your brother."

We talked about how in the church we have latent accusations against God; believing He's unwilling to care about us, or delayed. The idea that God is holding out on us, He withholds things from us. These doubts cause our prayers to be faithless, more geared towards a whimpering hope. God has a passionate ZEAL for us like no person on earth could ever have.

God is jealous for us (Ex 34:14; Dut 4:24; 1 Cor 10:22; James 4:5)!! 

God is for us!! We can boldly approach Him knowing that He loves us SO SO SO much! We don't have to listen to the voice of condemnation anymore, for with Christ we are a NEW creation!! 

"The zeal of the Lord is , "God's heart bringing forth LOVE and restoring human beings to their rightful, created order. It's not just about our redemption, it's about dominion."

We were created to LOVE and be LOVED by our creator... Allen said something that stuck with me, "Once the sin issue is taken care of what else are we going to talk about with God?"

I've approached the Lord is a whole new way since I've been here and it's so amazing and comforting! This is just a VERY small bit of what I've been learning. 

Jesus is coming soon and we get to partner with Him and let the Father's will be done through our lives! It's all about team!! God LOVES family!

 I gotta scoot! More to come on the humility and meekness of Christ Jesus!

Hope in Christ

Sometimes it's really challenging to stay steady in the everyday, especially when you're not feeling God's presence. Things have been intense this weekend and to be honest I've gotten a little bit down. I've learned some really basic things to do in times of dryness, testing, trials, and temptations:

1) Speak truth to yourself, reading the Word out loud is really powerful. 

2) Speak or sing in the Spirit for awhile... at first your flesh wants to dimer out, but after a bit something shifts inside and the Holy Spirit takes over! 

3) Remember that God loves us, even in out weak and broken moments, He's right there to defend you, encourage you, and help you to GROW! 

One thing God has really been highlighting to me is that the old is GONE and the new has come. All those years of being a coward or failure are GONE. I am a NEW CREATION!! Sometimes I think we all get so caught up on our issues that we loose the idea that we are being transformed from glory to glory each day!! Everyday is an opportunity to grow closer to God and be changed and transformed by the power of His Son Jesus.

Studying the life of Christ has changed my life! to know He came as God's expression of His LOVE for mankind is amazing... God chose no other creature He created to BECOME! How humble is the God we serve? Now we can have HOPE and FAITH because we have a GREAT high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses and is ALWAYS making intercession on OUR behalf!!!!! The Lord is our defense, He's on our side... He sees us as who we are going to be... being perfected in love!!

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." 

-Phil. 3:13 &14 

God is Changing History

The above clip shows how God is raising up people all over the world to cry out for the greatest out pouring of His Spirit in the history of mankind. I believe that in my lifetime I will not only get to play a part in crying out for the fullness of His Spirit, but will get to witness it being poured out!!! Right now God's raising up His army to change the world's atmosphere... we can't do anything apart from Him... we NEED more of His Spirit on the earth to change, transform, and illuminate our lives! We need a fresh revelation of what GOD wants to do on the earth in this time!! I believe He is calling us into something new. 

"It's not by might, nor power, but by His Spirit..." - Zechariah 4:6

"Unless the Lord builds the house the workers labor in vain. " - Psalm 127:1

Greetings!

For my first entry I just want to say that Jesus Christ is amazing and has forever changed my life. He has given me my true purpose in this life. His unconditional love towards me is very humbling. I dedicated my life to fully pursue Jesus and grow deeper in Him. My life's goal and purpose is to KNOW Him and have fellowship with no matter what I'm doing or where I am at. Currently I am spending time with IHOP, placing myself at the Lord's feet through night and day prayer. This journal is basically just a place for me to record and share what God is doing in my life during this foundational time. I'll be putting in pictures, quotes, stories, and revelations from my experience here at IHOP. I thought it would be a fun way of keeping track of this time and also keep friends and family updated. 

Here is a key verse that the Lord has put in my heart while I've been here: 

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Blessings!