Unconditional Love

I'm a firm believer that those who know all your craziness, all the sides of who you are, you will have the deepest relationship. This last year has been one most difficult years I've experiences. Through it all I've noticed something. I've noticed that family has got to be one of the most important entities to a human beings existence.

Since I live pretty far from my family I only see them for the holidays and sometimes I'll get a visit in the summer as well. Each time I've seen them unfortunately I've been pretty exhausted, stressed, decently crabby, and just processing a lot with life. Each time I've been met with ridiculous amounts of love. Simple, but so profound. It could just be a hug, making me laugh, or listening to me process craziness, but through my insanity over and over again the last 4 years has been met with LOVE.

There really is no replacement for a family. The trust involved and closeness that it brings through good times, bad, sad, crazy, angry, joyful, hilarious etc. . . all these life experience along side just a pure commitment to love no matter what is so powerful!!! It's actually unstoppable. I've seen my family love me with no expectations in return. Of course I love them back and of course I love being there for them as well, BUT to have people love with out that hidden agenda is priceless. I am truly bless.

Lastly, what I've found is that true love, loves, all the time and does not have any stipulations on how it's given, when it's given, or what's returned. True, "agape" (divine) love, is unconditional. Let me say this . . . loving in this way is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE with the help of the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ. Everything good comes from heaven the Bible says. John says that "greater love has no man, than he who lays his life down for a friend." This tells me that love is more than a mushy, fuzzy, feeling, it's actually an action of laying down your life for someone else. In human nature it is our DNA to be selfish and self seeking. We need a power greater than ourselves, which means, haha, we need HELP to love. We can't love on our own, BUT the cool thing is that God LOVES to help us and since HE IS LOVE. . . and already laid His life down for us through the symbol and real life example of Jesus Christ - it is possible!!

Hope your Christmas was amazing!!

You Never Know Who You're Going to Meet

Last night grabbed some Thai food at a favorite place my family and I absolutely LOVE!! I've been there dozens of times even though I live out of state since it is a MUST when I come for my visits to Chicago.

The food is absolutely incredible and the service even better. There are twin ladies who usually will serve us and they are as sweet as honey. You can tell that their smile is genuine and their hospitality comes 110% genuine. Thai is such a beautiful culture!

One of the twins, who actually was not our server for this particular evening, decided to tell us about her passion as an artist. She shared with us the history of some of the art on the walls, wood carvings, and the breath taking pictures of Thailand that were rotating on the 56 inch screen by the bar. You could see her face light up when she was sharing with us and began to tell us more about her life as a commercial videographer and how her conscience did not sit right with some of the things there were doing. She quit!

What happened next was like watching a TV show. . . life just happened and I got to watch it unfold and say a few things if desired. She began to tell us about all these different dreams she's had in detail with Budah, Quan Shi, and Jesus Christ. You could tell that this lady was wide open to the supernatural and desiring to know more about it. Dad and I just got to love. . . no pushing anything on her. . . or trying to convince her there is one way. . . just simply love. She actually had a lot of questions about her dream and we just shared with her what we have experienced in life.

That is a condensed version, but I share this because it was an experience that was so fun to me and so simple. People want to know God, their spirits even dream about Him in one way or another. We don't have to be afraid of other gods or try to lord over people with our beliefs. Who wants anything shoved down their throat, let alone a belief about God. God is making Himself known to people by His Spirit and we can be apart of it in a way that is FUN and SIMPLE. God is a gentleman, not a dictator.

Enjoy the people around you!! Everyone is a unique expression of the Creator.

Quick Quote Time. . .

"You're either losing your mind - or gaining your soul. Life is meant to be an artists date (time to discover, play, experiment, breath). That's why we were created." - Julia Cameron

No matter how young or old you are. . . you are never at an age where you can't SWING!! Try it. . . you'll be amazed at the joy it brings!!

. . . Trust. . .

Trust is such a valuable thing. It is the key that unlocks hearts; the gateway to receiving and giving love. You have to trust someone enough to open your heart to exchange love. I always thought it was interesting that the Bible says that love "ALWAYS trusts," in the midst of 1 Cor 13. That means in order to be functioning in true love our hearts need to be open. (sigh) I find this difficult.

It's always been a love hate thing for me. I find I can trust the people who don't deserve it and withhold it from the people who have "earned it". So odd to me.

In my conversations with others throughout the years I find I'm not alone. Why do our hearts naturally slide towards the things that hurt us or bring us to a dark place? Why are we so afraid of real love?

My gut is that because most of us have had intense situations in life that have really messed with our hearts, something inside is broke. A close friend betrayed you, a lover perhaps. . . a spouse. Maybe your parents abused you or other family members, friends. After so many times the hinges on the door of our hearts rust over and are stuck shut, or even nailed shut.

Do you remember being a little kid, not worried about too much? The biggest issue of the day was,"which toy to play with?"or "where is that candy mom hid?" Do you remember being pretty free to just run, dance, sing, scream, jump, laugh with friends so boldly? No fear? I believe that is how we can be again! I believe that God actually WANTS us to be a well oiled door. . . able to LOVE others, Him. . . receive love from others, and Him. . . and CLOSE the door to any lies, doubts, fear, etc. We truly do NOT fight people. . . let me say that with gusto!! But we are definitely to guard our hearts with ALL diligence against the negative things. We can function how we were originally created. . . to trust and deeply love. . . to not trust ever is to deny the very function we were made for. . . yes, LOVE!

Is that really possible to open up bloodied bruised hearts to trust with getting wrecked all over again? How is this possible? It can't be an intellectual thing, the mind is different from the heart (obviously, ha!) The only way I've seen any shift inside of me is by simply asking Jesus to show you how great His love for you is. . . ask Him for help to trust again or love. No 5 steps, no book, no formula, not even a "sermon," just simply talk to the Lord and ask Him. . . He will do the changing! We really can't fix ourselves (believe me I've tried, haha!), but He is so kind, so gentle, such a gentleman with our hearts that He will wait until we are ready, until we ask Him. Try it, if you want. . . you'll never be the same!

Need A Little Love?

Today I've been thinking about how sometimes I really want to love. . . whether it be a friend, family member, or God. . . I find myself trying to make all these efforts. I mean the unconditional kind, that NO MATTER WHAT. . . I respond in love. . . whether someone loves my back or not. I'm finding that I'm not very good at this. That I may be able to pull a smile off on the surface, but the depths of my heart do not match up. . . this is extremely saddening to me. In and of Rachel May by myself, I am unable to truly love. . . ouch. . .

I recall also that WE love God, because HE FIRST loved us. That means even in order to truly love God He has to love us first. . . it takes God to love God. How crazy is that? Oddly enough it takes a lot of pressure off me to try to conjure up some kind of sentiment when I don't have it in me. I find the most tangible way to experience love is just to simply tell God, "I want to experience His love. . . I want it to be real. . . God, if my heart is closed or angry about something and that is why I can't experience you right now, please help me because I truly want You and your love." Jesus is pretty drawn to brokenness and honesty. . . and since the Bible says that God so LOVED the WORLD that He gave His only Son. . . I can know He loves me!! (and everyone else who is in the WORLD).

If you feel like you could use a little love and are willing to be vulnerable with God, just talk with Him. . . He loves to talk with us. . . and if you're mad. . . tell him about it . . . He can handle it :)

Small...Isn't Insignificant

There is an amazing power in the small gesture of kindness and care. Sometimes it's just a "how are you?" a kind word, a hug, a kiss, or sometimes it can be simply a listening ear in the craziest of times. I've noticed that it's the small little gestures of love that can make the biggest impact in a persons life.

No matter how "small" your love may be or seem, give it out, it may make the biggest difference in someone's life.

. . . Beauty . . .

Today I watched an amazing pink/red-ish sunset in the sky that was breath taking. In the midst of the traffic, business, and a difficult situation; there stood beautiful pink/red seems across the bottom of the blue sky. For a moment life was still and nothing else mattered, but that moment. All I could say was, "God. . . you're beautiful!" I realized that creation really does reflect the glory of God and that He speaks, sometimes with out words.

Then I thought about how each person is His creation, in His image. That would mean we too are expressions of GOD. We have something to say and aspect of beauty to display. Even in the craziness of life, bruises of the soul, our "ugly" sides . . . we are breathtaking. . . because we are made by Someone who has attributed beauty to us.

No matter what WE DO, He will NEVER stop loving us and telling us WE are beautiful to Him. :)

Dance in the Rain

I've decided that it is not cruel for the Creator to let us go through challenges or difficulties in our lives. For some reason the human race believes that the "good life" is an easy and painless life. With out challenges in life one would never know what they are capable of. It's the essence of a challenge for the challenge to be met. We don't have to be perfect in meeting the challenges or difficulties in life. After all mistakes are how we all grow anyway. We simply can keep moving forward in life. Even if the pace is slower than some or our forward motion may have a limp; don't stop going forward in life.

The Creator promises that He would always provide a way of escape before things reach the point of what we cannot bear. We can trust in Him and stick with where He may have us in the challenges He's ALLOWING to come our way.

In the last book of the Bible, Revelations the promises are for those who OVERCOME. A recent favorite saying of mine is, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. . . It's about learning to dance in the rain."

It's dance time!