Aching

Do you ever feel like you want to just simply feel? Even if it hurts? You just want to know you're alive and breathing.

Lately I've been finding that in those moments something deeper is about to take place. Usually it'll take me a few days to come to this place of finally giving in to the fact that I need something more than yesterday. More and more I'm craving to know Jesus as a person. For real - what if we were such good friends we could know what each other was thinking with out speaking. I know it must sound kinda crazy, but I KNOW there's more to knowing Jesus than just Sunday church meetings, or even Bible studies, or whatever the concept of "Christianity" is. We've GOT to know a living breathing person EVERY day... I HAVE to.

I'm at a place that just has to know him more, not in a sense of gaining anything, but a knowledge of how real he is and much he is intensely involved in life. My life. I don't believe it's wrong to want to FEEL him and KNOW that he's real. I've started to just ask him to come and talk with me. Sometimes about needs, but mostly how I would talk to a really close friend, who cared deeply about my heart and what was on my mind. I'm finding that when I hear from him, he loves me, and then I can't help, but ask what's on his heart back. No duty or obligation, but genuine interest.

LOVE moves, it can't stay stagnant. If it was still, it would not be love.